June 4th, 2009
|12:36 am - Poop. And Pee. Do Not Read.|
We don't belabor these things around here (um, hah. no, really, we don't!) but somehow Leila has a mild fascination with excreta.
For a while, it was merely the idea that animals poop and pee on the ground. This one fact seemed nearly incredible to her. Like, how is that even possible? How alien.
The other day, however, we were at a local park that features a barn full of animals, and Leila happened to witness not only a sheep pooping, but a donkey as well. Like, one right after the other.
"What are they doing?!" she asked me.
"They're doing poop," I said.
"What are they doing?!" she said again, apparently unable to believe her eyes or ears.
"They're doing poop, Leila," I reiterated. "Everybody has to poop sooner or later. If they didn't poop, they'd explode."
I was hoping for some sort of reaction to "explode," but I didn't get one. Probably because she doesn't know what "explode" means.
Later that day, she was off on a toilet tangent, prattling a litany a la, "Animals poop on the ground, birds poop in their nests, donkeys poop on the ground, ducks poop on the ground, they don't poop in the toilet, they poop on the ground. And spiders pee in their webs!"
That last one effectively killed me. I am typing this as a ghost right now. Every time I so much as think the phrase "spiders pee in their webs," I die even more. Speeelatt.
Leila has been watching the animated "Charlotte's Web" with Debbie Reynolds as Charlotte and Paul Lynde as Templeton the Rat, so spiders are a big topic over here too.
And what the hell IS it about squishing bugs? Leila loves all animals, even the ones that aren't necessarily cute, yet she will go out of her way to step on an ant. All her "Circle of Life" shit goes right out the window if there's an ant to be smooshed.